The Dude Society

An Online Magazine for Guys.

The Sex Files: Masturbation, Porn, And Orgasms Oh My!

Q: I really like to jerk off to porn, but my partner really hates it.  What do I do??

Well, that depends a lot on what about the porn and masturbation he/she hates.  If it’s porn in general (as in, a moral objection to pornography), then you need to consider how much you respect your partner’s desires and are willing to give something up for him/her.  If it’s the specific type of porn you like to watch, you might try compromising on porn that you can both enjoy together before and/or during sex with each other.  If it’s the masturbation part that’s objectionable, I recommend talking about that, and what exactly is the problem.  Either way here, the key is communication.

Q: So really, no bs, how do I tell if someone’s faking an orgasm?

It’s pretty simple:  stop paying so much attention to what you hear and start paying attention to what you feel.  Orgasm by definition is the intense pleasure that accompanies the contraction of the lower pelvic muscles (in both men and women).  Therefore, if you pay close attention, you should be able to feel the contractions whether you’re penetrating vaginally or anally.  If that’s not enough for you, most women release fluids when they orgasm, either from inside the vagina or from the urethra (“squirt”).  So if the going gets tight, and then easier, you’re probably doing your job right.

Got a question for Dr Laila? [email protected]

About the author

Dr Laila is a dude-lover and therapist extraordinaire. She holds a legitimate PhD in Clinical Psychology and practices as a sex therapist with all kinds of people. She's overly opinionated, sarcastic, and pretty damn smart.

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