The Dude Society

An Online Magazine for Guys.

Chicks That Kick Ass: Hot Or Scary?

With the arrival of Sucker Punch in theaters, which features five super-hot yet fiercely violent female leads, the question that begs to be answered is this: Are chicks that kick ass hot or scary?

Vanessa Hudgens in Sucker Punch

Obviously, in the case of the movie heroine badass, most guys would vote for “hot” without hesitation. Who doesn’t want to see Vanessa Hudgens scantily clad in a leather bustier and shooting an AK47?  But if it came down to a real life badass being your girl, would you think differently?

The Need to Be Needed

Most guys have the inherent need to be the protector of their girl. Defend her honor. Fight off the bad guys. Be the stud. What if your girl doesn’t really need or want that from you? Is it a threat to your masculinity or do you think a girl that can defend her own honor and doesn’t hesitate to do so is a turn on?

I am not just talking about this from the angle of physical toughness or ability to shoot heavy artillery. I’m talking in more practical terms. What do you think about strong women in general? A woman who is well-educated, quick-witted, financially secure, and handy with home improvements all by her big-girl self. Essentially a girl that could completely exist without need or use for you, except for the occasional sexual exploit. Let’s be real, girls can even handle that on their own, for the most part.

Sidekick or Superhero – Which Would You Rather Be?

From my very informal polling, there seems to be a split vote on this issue. On one hand, guys appreciate a woman who can handle her own life situations and isn’t constantly dragging them into a drama-filled vortex of craziness. You are proud of her for being strong and capable, and it takes a little bit of the pressure off of you to be the hero all the time.  Plus, a girl that can take control and tell you how it’s going to be in the bedroom is a dead-sexy turn on.

On the other hand, some guys find a fiercely badass woman a little intimidating and a challenge to holding on to their man card. Men like to solve problems, to feel useful, and to be needed. They want the chance to fix stuff for their lady and be the knight in shining armor once in a while. For those guys, a woman that can take him or leave him can be a bit hard to handle for their ego.

It seems like a strong lady can be a bit like a sexy version of the double-edged sword for the fellows. The key is to strike a balance between being reduced to a non-factor and being leaned on as a savior. Let your woman know that you love that she can handle her situations, make good decisions, and carry on independently. But also let her know that it makes you feel good to know that you have helped her, been sought after for advise, had a chance to be there for her, and to help carry the load once in a while.

Let Her Know You Have Her Back

Approaching the subject from the standpoint of collaboration as opposed to condemnation or insecurity will show her that you respect her kick-assness while at the same time caring enough about her to want to help her and be needed from time to time. Even the most badass supergirl can appreciate a man willing and capable of carrying her out of a burning building if he has to.

Let her know you have her back.

About the author

Lisa, aka Random Girl, is a mild-mannered professional by day, wickedly clever blogger/sex goddess/smartass by night. Lisa has very little internal filtering and is the voice behind Random Girl Blogs. She also makes fantastic chocolate chip cookies.

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8 responses to “Chicks That Kick Ass: Hot Or Scary?”

  1. Jewels says:

    Great post, sweets. This is a balance that I often struggle with. On one hand I know that men need their egos stroked, need to feel needed, and that their provider/protector role is important to them and I do my best to accomodate that. On the other hand I am a capable woman and enjoy space of my own. For me, men seem to be upset that I'm not more clingy and needy–which seems ridiculous to me because I hear men complaining all the time that their women are too clingy and needy. Who knows!? All I know is that I'm not likely to change who I am to be some vapid, meek, incapable of doing anything for herself, kind of woman…so if that is what guys really want I am super screwed—and not in a good way.

  2. I prefer my women to be equals. My current girl is my sparring partner, both in wits and in the bedroom. This is a great relationship because neither one of us feel domineering over the other.

    I want to be the gentleman. I want to get your door, give you massages, and do nice things for you. Provider is a bit too much, but I'm not the type of guy that likes to be called 'daddy' in the bedroom either…

    If you're a chick that kicks ass, well, that's pretty kickass. Just leave my ass alone, mmmk? It's not for kicking.

  3. techparent42 says:

    As long as it's sexy, go ahead and kick my ass. Please!

  4. Porkstar says:

    My best friend married an army dude. They hadn't lived together before, so after they did, she discovered that he started becoming competitive and angry when she took charge of things. They lasted 3 months married only. He couldn't handle that she was fiercely independent, strong, bad ass and it probably made him feel like she chopped off his balls. Me on the other hand, find strong, bad ass women, incredibly sexy and that's why too, the bff is the bff and most of my closest friends are bad ass women. They tend to get me in trouble and i usually end up being the biggest pussy but hey, more power to them, honestly.

  5. maria says:

    Seriously guys, don't be afraid to step up and be a gentleman: knowing when to to act and how to act as needed and respectfully. Don't be lazy or we turn into badass women because we had to learn to look after ourselves. No knight or calvary showed up. So offer help, be our friend and give us a shoulder to lean on once in a while. Being a badass bitch is really tiring in the long run. Imagine all the strength we can offer you in return when you need help or cheering up.

  6. SCB says:

    As a very independent female myself, I get that I can be intimidating. I lived alone and looked after myself, I grew up on a ranch and know how to fix most things. I think, from the girls side, we need to remember that it's okay not to always be strong too. I have a hard time not being good at stuff, but admitting that he's better at something is good for a relationship. Also, if that jar is a little tough to open, maybe don't crack your knuckles and get it done, maybe pass it over to him. I promise it'll make him feel more manly. (and who actually likes opening their own jars?)

  7. Anonymous11 says:

    I don't think men should be intimidated by a strong woman. Most of these badass women are just afraid of being hurt. If you can break through that barrier and gain her trust you just might find her to be one of the sweetest girls you've ever met.

  8. Cody says:

    I don't want a girl who laughs at my jokes because she likes me. I want a girl who can match if not best me at a battle of wits. Do I like being a knight in shining armor? Of course, hit me up when you need me to lift a fridge or beat a creep's ass, but nothing is a bigger turn off than a smart girl who pretends she's dumb.

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