Technology & Dating: The Simple Rules
With social media, ever present, in all of our lives these days, it’s easy to forget our manners. We speak in status updates, and end relationships in 160 characters or less. For the record, we do not endorse breaking up over text message.
Dating is a personal, hands-on experience, yet sometimes technology can make us forget that. We can see what everyone we know is doing, eating, reading, listening to, etc, without needing to ask, something we could never do just a short time ago. It tends to give a false sense of intimacy. We come to think we know this person well, just because we read their tweets or stalked their Facebook wall.
You can slow down and get to know them, or you can meticulously scour their status updates and develop this imaginary attachment. Hopefully most of you prefer the former to the latter.
Obviously, social media and technology are here to stay; you cannot eschew these forms of communication. Rather, you should follow some basic dos and don’ts in order to integrate them into your dating life. After all, dating has been made easier by technology, connecting us more than in the past. So, whether you met online or at the local bar, text messaging, Twitter, Facebook, and email will likely play a large role in your relationships. That being said, it shouldn’t replace a real courtship.
Here’s how to handle it:
Do call to ask her out for the first time. A text might be easier, but you’ll stand out if you take the time to call. For some girls, not calling can be a deal breaker.
Don’t complain about your date on Twitter, unless you’re OK with them seeing it. The Internet is written in ink and they will no doubt find it.
Do wait until you’ve been on a significant number of dates before you Facebook friend them. Yes, as silly as it sounds, Facebook is now a step in dating.
Don’t check in on Foursquare if you cancelled on a date by faking illness, or saying you are stuck at work. We also encourage honesty, so take this at face value.
Do put your phone on vibrate while on a date or, even better, turn it off. Give them your full attention.
Don’t use text messages, IM, Twitter, or Facebook to “break up” if you have been on more than three dates (especially if sex was involved).
Do call or text if you’re going to be late.
Don’t use emoticons, “I’m sorry, but I don’t think we should see each other anymore. :( ” Dude, really?
Do put down the phone, turn off the laptop, mute the TV, and actually talk. The art of conversation will never be fully replaced by technology.