The Dude Society

An Online Magazine for Guys.

A Guide To Adjusting Your Junk In Public

In the last week I’ve seen multiple dudes launch into one and two-handed, full on junk adjustments in public. The subway platform, the street corner, no spot is safe from dudes grabbing their equipment or even shoving their hands entirely down their pants.

Yeah, I know it’s hot out during the summer, and stuff tends to get sticky… but (almost) nobody wants to see you playing with your junk in public.

At the same time, I am a dude, so I understand uncomfortable situations do arise (pun intended) and we feel compelled to remedy the situation quickly.

You’re not Michael Jackson or a MLB player, so lets review some basic guidelines for adjusting your twig and berries without looking gross.

Go indirect if possible

Depending the severity of your situation, a through-the-pocket fix might be possible. This is highly preferred as it maintains some plausible deniability if you’re caught.

One hand limit

If you’re going to attempt a junk adjustment in public, there is a strict one hand limit. At least with one free hand you can use it to create a distraction. I saw a guy double-fisting his boys on a street corner, and it was not a pretty sight.

Cross your legs

If you’re sitting, crossing your legs can block direct view of your package while you make the required adjustments. This tactic can work well for school, work, or on the train/bus.

Not in front of ladies

Straight or gay, all dudes have the same equipment and know how it goes… so if you need to adjust your basket in front of some dudes, big f*ckin’ deal. However, if there are any impressionable ladies present, just grin an bare it or find a private spot.

Get to know hand sanitizer

If you’re in the habit of bare handing your balls frequently… you need to clean your hands. Often. That’s practically the same as not washing your hands after using the john…

Preventing the problem…

You may never be able to eliminate the issue… but there are a few things you can do to make your family jewels more comfortable:

  • Get new underwear. If you’re still wearing giant, bunchy boxer shorts, it is time to upgrade. If you have giant boxers, it’s no wonder you’re fussing with your junk all the time. Get some boxer briefs and you’ll be happier. I am partial to the ones from Banana Republic.
  • Get pants that fit. I’m a proponent of slim pants… but if your pants are actually tight in the crotch, you’ll never be comfortable.
  • Keep it dry. If it’s hot out, or you have a general sweat issue down below… think about investing in some powder. It’s a little old school, but worth a shot.

There you have it. So, go forth and treat your balls and those around with with the respect they both deserve.

About the author

Jamie is the Founder of The Dude Society and a New York City based web designer & developer. He really likes telling people how to think, act, and dress.

All articles by Jamie »

5 responses to “A Guide To Adjusting Your Junk In Public”

  1. Jess P. says:

    Boxer Briefs= the sign of a grown man.

  2. A.J. says:

    ok, given these tips are quite good. One shouldn´t adjust one´s cochones in public. However… hand sanitizer? That is probably the cleanest part of my body and by far more hygenic than hands could ever be, even and just by virtue of me using hands and not balls to interact with the bacteria infected surrounding. We aren´t leaking around like the masses of the other sex, are we?

  3. Andy says:

    Why do need to refer to a valid part of the male body as 'junk'? It may seem harmless but it's subliminally promoting the fear, distaste, and ridicule of the male body.

  4. marvin says:

    I agree with the questionable use of the term 'junk'. Demeaning at best. I know you are trying to be personable and to make other men less self conscious, but we would all be further ahead by just being transparent and calling a spade a spade.

    Re adjusting in public- There is a whole world of communication that revolves around genital adjustment. Most importantly, men should realize that when and how they 'adjust, themselves in public is a statement to the observer. So, be careful of what you say by doing it and to whom you are saying it.
    Habitual 'scratchers' or ' fluffers' simply have a problem of being aware. To me, it conveys the message that the owner needs a shower. And that he is unaware of the message he is sending.

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