The Dude Society

An Online Magazine for Guys.

What We’ve Learned About Calling Girls

We recently conducted a poll about what to do after your get a girl's phone number. It yielded some interesting results, so I wanted to report back on the findings.

Nearly 2 to 1, women said they would rather get a funny or flirty text than a phone call.

A few years ago, I was consistently told by female friends that not calling (as opposed to texting) when you got a number was a big no-no. So, based on that advice, I always called girls after getting their phone numbers, despite generally being nervous talking to new people on the phone.

It seems the tables have turned in the last few years.

After being surprised by the poll results, I consulted some female friends to get updated opinions. These days, it seems like women are more selective about who they talk to on the phone. Either they are simply nervous speaking to new people, or feel caught off guard by randomly getting a phone call from someone they don't really know. A few women have suggested it's best to get a flirty text, which implies an upcoming phone call. That way, you're not ambushing them with a phone call, but you're not being one of those text-only pussies.

Is texting the new standard of behavior for us dudes?

There are still some ladies who want a phone call, but it seems like the number is falling as time goes by. Between us dudes, ladies who have often been dicked around or lead on by guys via text seem more inclined to want a phone call... so, that's something to keep in mind. Whether you call or text as a first contact... when it comes to asking a girl out on a date, I still suggest calling. Have you had any noteworthy first call or text experiences?

About the author

Jamie is the Founder of The Dude Society and a New York City based web designer & developer. He really likes telling people how to think, act, and dress.

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4 responses to “What We’ve Learned About Calling Girls”

  1. Melissa says:

    I will NOT go on a date with someone who asks me out via text. If a date is the goal, dial her number.

  2. singlegirlie says:

    Okay. I notice a lot of guys want a cut and dried answer for everything. Call or text? Black or white? But the truth is, it depends. Every girl is different. Every situation is different. Some girls prefer calling while others are fine with texting. For me, it depends on the guy. And the relationship. And my mood, maybe.

    There are some guys who will ONLY text. That annoys me. Then there are guys who call too much. That's annoying, too. But truth be told, the men who worry about calling vs. texting are likely not calling too much, because they are too worried about it. And what does "too much" mean, anyway? Well, that depends on the girl, too. And the relationship stage. And how she feels about the guy. A friend of mine will text with a new guy she meets all day long, every day, and she loves it. That would drive me bonkers.

    Unfortunately, there's no right answer. Sorry. Sometimes you just have to feel it out. To be safe, I think a balance is good. Text sometimes, call sometimes. And, personally, I'm with Melissa. If you're asking me out, call me.

  3. dazediva says:

    I'm with Singlegirlie on balancing the texts and calls out; and like Melissa I personally prefer a phone call when it comes to being asked out. Anyone asking me out over a text message is going to be told I'm too busy to go out with someone who can't even pick up the phone for 2 mins to ask me out.

    When you've just met a girl – a few flirty texts (not OTT and not too sexual) are a good way of letting her know that you are interested, but the phone call has to be there at some point especially when making date plans. I've text guys I've met and followed it up with a phone call if I'm keen on them. Hell I've called guys up too (some actually got all nervous about it).

  4. New reader says:

    Couple of texts at first are great – no pressure, easy to decline if you decide you don't really want to meet up again, etc. I don't even mind meeting up for the first date based on text messages (though a call would be nice, if only for the novelty factor these days). After the first date, I really would appreciate a phone call – even if you wait until you've had a few texts back and forth to make sure you're not going to get rejected, that's fine, but then pick up the phone! I'm about to go on a fourth date with a guy and I have never yet spoken to him on the phone. I am 32 and I don't think I've had a guy call me to ask me out on a date since I was in my teens (I do live in the UK, so our dating culture is pretty backward I suppose…)

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