The Dude Society

An Online Magazine for Guys.

Don’t Be The Needy Dude

We’ve probably all done it. You meet someone or you go out on a date, and afterward you think ‘oh I’ll just text them, that’s harmless’. Then maybe the same thing happens again… and again… and suddenly you’re the stalker guy. Annoyingly, in modern dating there is a fairly fine line between caring and stalking.

I once went out on a first date, and within about 12 hours of the date ending, I received eight (yes, 8) messages/calls from this person. Do you think this was an incentive to call them back or go out with them again? Not so much.

Now, I am strongly against setting rules for when you are and aren’t allowed to contact someone. I think you should do what feels right in the specific situation. The important part is to not become so fixated on the one person that your sense of what is reasonable gets skewed.

Although I was the never the type of guy who wanted to date multiple people at once, up to a certain point it is actually the best way to avoid driving yourself nuts and coming off as a weirdo with the one you really like. Essentially it comes down to the old expression, don’t put all your eggs in one basket…

Whether you do it by dating other people, focusing on work, or a hobby… you need to stop yourself from sitting around and fixating on one person and setting yourself up to be crushed if it doesn’t work out the way you’d like.

About the author

Jamie is the Founder of The Dude Society and a New York City based web designer & developer. He really likes telling people how to think, act, and dress.

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