Air Travel Etiquette
Some people travel rarely, others travel on a weekly or even daily basis. Just like many other situations in life, it is important to practice good manners, even when travel gets frustrating. If you’ve anything like me, almost every time you set foot in an airport, or on a plane, you can always spot the assholes. They might be yelling at the ticketing agent, pushing through the security line, causing a scene at the gate, or refusing to stop texting as the plane is taking off.
Arrive well in advance of your flight
Otherwise, you’ll be the asshole who is late and taking out your aggression on everyone around you. You might come across some grumpy airport workers, but try to remember how many, pain in the ass, people they must encounter on a daily basis. Cut them some slack.
Organize your stuff
Don’t carry or wear unnecessary crap through security. If you have a laptop bag or briefcase, do what I do. Put anything that could possibly cause a problem into your bag. I put my wallet, belt, phone, keys, and change into the front pocket of my laptop case before I even get to security. Then, once at the gate, you can get your stuff back in order.
Wait your turn
Don’t be the dick who knows he’s probably boarding last, but insists and standing right by the gate. If you want to board faster, pay for the upgraded seat or earn more miles, otherwise stay out of everyone’s way.
Don’t bring stinky food
Oh you like tuna? That’s nice; leave it at home. Nobody wants to smell your food on a plane. You can bring food on to a plane, just make it something mild and unoffensive.
Help short and old people
If you see an older lady trying to put her bag up, get off your ass a help out. She will thank you, and who knows, maybe she is traveling with her hot granddaughter.
Turn off your phone
One phone won’t make any difference, right? Maybe, but it still makes you a dick. Turn off your phone, you’re not that important. Off means off, not just putting it in airplane mode. If you really need to stay connected, fly on an airline with wifi, like Virgin America.
Keep your shoes on
This isn’t a rock hard rule, but we all know that many dude’s feet smell terrible. If this is you, keep your shoes on. Nobody wants to smell your feet. Plan ahead and wear shoes that will be easy to take on/off at security and be comfortable. I usually opt for John Varvatos Converse slip-on sneakers.
Don’t be a douche on a plane
Keep your voice down. You’re trapped in a metal tube, with a few hundred other people, for a couple hours or more. People will want to relax, sleep, read, eat, etc. So, if you’re having conversations, keep them at a low volume. If you’re wearing headphones, take them off before talking.
Pay attention to your surroundings
When standing up, moving around, or messing with your stuff in the overhead bin, just use some common courtesy. I don’t want you slamming me in the shoulder with your briefcase, and I definitely don’t want your nuts in my face while you try to pull down something from the overhead bin.
Baggage claim is not a wrestling match
This will never cease to amaze me. You’re standing at the baggage belt, politely waiting for your luggage, and person after person will push you over to grab their stuff. It’s like nobody has ever learned the phrase “excuse me.” You could be standing six inches from the conveyor belt and someone will try to push in front of you. My point is, don’t be that guy. Despite what other people do, you should act in a civilized way, using words like “excuse me,” “please,” and “thank you.”