The Dude Society

An Online Magazine for Guys.

Toys in the Bedroom: Your Girl Wants to Play

Are you man enough to handle sex toys in the bedroom? Or do you view them as a threat? Scared they may outperform you or make you look inferior? Fear not, I am about to give you the lowdown on the benefits of bringing another guest into your bedroom party and why you really have no reason to worry.

Every woman has one.

If you don’t know already, your lady friend has a sex toy. She probably has multiple sex toys.  And she uses them, probably more frequently than you would think.

Take a minute and let that sink in if it was a surprise to you.

Now, realize how awesome that is and start thinking of ways that you can incorporate toys into your sex play with her.  I know the idea can seem daunting if this is new territory for you to venture into. And it’s OK to have a little apprehension when it comes to pulling the trigger on bringing another source of pleasure into the bedroom besides your God-given sex toy that you are rather attached to. But this really should be viewed as an opportunity and not as a threat to you.

First, by accepting the fact that your women enjoys pleasuring herself with her toy of choice, you are realizing that she is a confident woman who knows what it takes to get herself off. That is a good thing. Secondly, by not only accepting that but by also encouraging toys in your sex life as a couple shows that you are confident enough in yourself that you can enjoy her receiving pleasure even if it’s not directly from your penis. And lastly, the two of you experimenting with sex toys together will allow you to both find new ways of pleasuring each other. Most of the toys that your woman enjoys offer some enjoyable options when used on you in creative ways as well.

You want me to do what with that?

Having something else in bed with the two of you may make you feel a little uneasy at first. You may be worried about how to use it correctly, or what not to do with it even. The best thing a guy can do is put it in her hands, literally. Chances are she will be well acquainted with the nuances of the toy and will happily oblige your request to show you how she likes to use it.  In that case, you not only get to learn how she likes to use her toy, but you also get to see her giving herself pleasure and all you have to do is sit back and enjoy the highly erotic view.

When it’s your turn to give it a try, don’t be nervous. The best thing you can do is ask her if what you are doing feels good, if she wants you to do it harder/slower/deeper, if it is hitting the right spots. Her verbal and more importantly, non-verbal feedback should let you know if you are on the right track. It’s really no different than any other sex act in that regard. Don’t be afraid to experiment with using the sex toy on yourself or letting her try it out on you as well. A little vibration on your boys while receiving some oral love from your lady may be the second best thing to heaven from what I have heard.  Feel free to try it out and let me know.

The Couple That Shops Together…

Although she probably has her trusty favorites in her dresser drawer, it can be a fun and sexy outing for the two of you to visit your local adult store together and do a little shopping. The variety of forms and functions can be overwhelming but don’t be afraid to ask the staff questions. I have found Adult store staffs to be the most knowledgeable sales force on the planet. If there is something that you both want to try, like a vibrator, bondage straps, or anal beads, they can point you to exactly what you are looking for.

You just have to put all the awkward “I am a pervert” feelings aside for a while and just look at it as one more way that you and your lady are building your sexual bond together. Just being in the store together surrounded by so many naughty things and world of potential can be the best foreplay. By the time you get home and get the packages open, you will be more than primed to try them out without your inhibitions getting in the way.

Introducing sex toys into the mix can add a new dimension of satisfaction and fun into your relationship. It allows both of you to give and receive pleasure in ways that you ordinarily wouldn’t be able to and empowers your lady to take matters into her own hands and that is damn sexy. So the next time your girl asks you if want to go shopping, say yes, and tell her you have a stop to make to pick up a little something special before you head home.

More to come

In upcoming articles we will tackle the intricacies of specific sexual situations: sex-etiquette, watching her get off alone, and more. In the meantime, let us know if you have any questions on what we’ve covered so far!

About the author

Lisa, aka Random Girl, is a mild-mannered professional by day, wickedly clever blogger/sex goddess/smartass by night. Lisa has very little internal filtering and is the voice behind Random Girl Blogs. She also makes fantastic chocolate chip cookies.

All articles by Lisa »

14 responses to “Toys in the Bedroom: Your Girl Wants to Play”

  1. says:

    Amen! This open communication leads to fantastic things in the bedroom. And according to my girl, nothing beats the feeling of "toy plus boy."

    Now, one caveat for guys: If you can't get your girl off unless there's a toy involved, you may feel a bit inadequate. Fret not. Watch her use the toy be herself a few times (yeah… hot. I know.) and watch the motions. Incorporate that without the toy, and see how you do. I learned a lot from that tiny pink pocket rocket!

  2. My husband and my role reversal is bordering on ridiculous. He's the one who buys me the toys and I'm the one that would be fine just getting my rocks off and going to sleep, if it weren't for him. He picks out all sorts of stuff I'd have never thought to try on my own, and he's quite adept at using them.

  3. Tony Van Helsing says:

    I bought an expensive one for my wife from a site called It doesn't look anything like a big dick so I don't feel I have ot compete with it.

  4. @Xtal_Rose says:

    I think it's important to try new and exciting things in the bedroom. I especially like your point about going shopping together. This makes men feel a little bit more comfortable because they get to help you pick it out rather than knowing it's your old faithful you've had for who knows how long.

    Nice piece! Everyone should share their toys ;)

  5. @katsidhe says:

    No matter their age, all girls like to play with toys, gentlemen. Remember this and you'll go far.~

  6. Jewels says:

    I think most adult women have toys and it's a great man who can be comfortable with them in the bedroom. I've only met one man who is okay with it…and he was able to reap the rewards of it, too. I can understand where they may feel threatened but some women are threatened by porn too…I think it's about understanding, trust, and sharing what gets you off, which should never be a bad thing. Thanks for another great article.

  7. Rita says:

    AMEN! That's all I can say! wow! FANTASTIC!!! Way to go for bringing this up (pun intended). I love a man who can be comfortable in bed with ME and with my toys!! Love that! Takes a real man to be okay with it! wow!

  8. @g8rNavyDoc says:

    It is so refreshing to read this! So many times couples are either too shy or feel the "i'm a pervert" if they want to try new things, when this is so fun and often necessary! Bringing this activity out together can bring the routine sex explode into a outrageous experience! You go girl!!

  9. Joseph Arcita says:

    i think i approve of the content of your blog. i am now following and will be watching from the shadows (no creeper)

  10. sally wetts says:

    You’ve got great insights about adult love making easy girls and boys, keep up the good work!

  11. Scoot says:

    My girlfriend and me bought our first sex toys together about 8 years ago and have never looked back! We have fantastic sex anyway and sometimes plan to use toys but so carried away they stay in the drawer, but other times we just enjoy them together and it's great fun, and really horny. One of the best things is when I'm away working and she texts me to tell me she is using her rabbit, now that gets me right where I feel it, and when I get home……..
    I would just say relax and enjoy them together, you will love it! Also, shopping for them together is just the most exciting thing to do.

  12. Michael says:

    Personally as a guy I am anti toy. I should be able to find ways to satisfy her. That is my responsibility. If she has to bring in toys then it means I failed plain and simple.

    • Jamie says:

      Not all toys are meant to replace the dude. For example, handcuff or some other mutually fun thing.

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