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Would Your Phone Get You Busted?

How much incriminating evidence is on your phone right now? Be honest.

Are the texts, pics, and videos you are carrying around with you on your handy dandy smartphone right now enough to get you busted by your girl if she were to sneak a peek?

Do you hang on to it like an NFL wide receiver headed to the end zone? Keep it close at hand, never letting it out of your sight for even a moment, lest it would be seized and searched by your lady friend?

Is it passcode protected, like “launch the nuclear weapon” passcode protected?

Yes, it probably is.

And why is that? Is there something in there that you feel a little guilty about?  Yes, there probably is. If you are anything like me, your phone is a walking evidence locker of indiscretions.  Sexts from the ex, soft-core pics from your lady friend or lady friends of days gone by, maybe a homemade video or two just for good measure.  And God only knows what else is floating around in there if she were to look hard enough.

So ask yourselves gentlemen, why do you carry around these pieces of incriminating evidence? Is it a modern day version of keeping a pair of panties from the girls you banged in high school as a reminder of your conquest?  Or is it just harmless fun? Either way, if your girl sees it, and eventually she probably will, it’s going to be a giant pain-in-the-ass argument that will end up with you looking like a dick.

Technology has made being shady so much easier, but it also leaves an electronic paper trail that is nearly impossible to erase.  Which also makes getting busted so much easier.  And, we girls are crafty like that. You give us unattended access to your phone for even a minute and we will go GeekSquad on that shit. What would happen if your girl got open access to your phone?  What would she find?  Would she be cool with it? I’m going to guess not.

Clean. It. Out.

What if you got hit by a bus and your mom came to claim your belongings and she went through your phone? Do you want to give the dear sweet woman a heart attack?

Clean. It. Out.

I understand your desire to keep written/photographic proof of your most manly moments. I get it. I just don’t think it’s worth the drama that your girl will cause when she sees it. You keep old photographs in a box or on a hard drive, so put your dirty memories on a flash drive and toss it in there. Carrying it around all the time sends an entirely different message.

Clean. It. Out.

About the author

Lisa, aka Random Girl, is a mild-mannered professional by day, wickedly clever blogger/sex goddess/smartass by night. Lisa has very little internal filtering and is the voice behind Random Girl Blogs. She also makes fantastic chocolate chip cookies.

All articles by Lisa »

22 responses to “Would Your Phone Get You Busted?”

  1. Simon says:

    You are a highly suspicious woman.

    • Actually, I am usually blissfully unaware as opposed to suspicious. I was just thinking of how much trouble I would be in if my phone fell into the wrong hands because the stuff on my phone? Now that is some suspicious stuff!

  2. Jewels says:

    I would be a dead woman if mine was ever found. Family members and friends who pick up my phone have seen texts and pictures never meant for their eyes. My thought is "that's what you get for snooping!" I have gone through mens phone for sure. I also do the test…pick it up when they can see you do it and wait to see if they freak out and run to grab it…you better believe if they do that I'm waking in the middle of the night to look through it! Great article,Lisa!

  3. @dvrcdntbrkn says:

    Wow… So much wrong with this.
    I am really sorry for your self-esteem and control issues. It's likely that you're dating the wrong men if this is a recurring theme for you. If you don't trust the man you are seeing, then perhaps you shouldn't be seeing him. Just because a man cleans out the filth from his phone, it does not wipe away the stain. Just because you can't find the sexy texts or naughty pics, doesn't mean they are not happening. And if you are so insecure as to have to go through a man's phone for validation, then I am sure that telling him who he can and cannot be friends with anymore is right around the corner.
    I have nothing to hide from anyone. I make no apologies. But if you treat me like I should… enjoy the view from the curb.
    Best of luck.

    • Jamie says:

      Important note, this isn't an article telling women to go through their dude's phones… it's an article telling dudes to not keep that shit out in the open.

    • Thanks for the comment Jack. I absolutely agree about needing some self-esteem and having control issues if a girl snoops. Unfortunately a lot of girls do indeed snoop for a number of reasons and if they do, then they get what they get. That also means the guy is going to get a shitload of grief about it. I wrote this as a friendly suggestion for the guys to just keep their dirt under wraps because chances are, your girl is going to, at some point, not be able to resist the urge to take a peek. Girls are guilty of having the same stuff on their phones. Trust me, if anyone got a hold of mine right now, they would see way more than they ever cared to. I'm talking straight up scandalous thing. But I am not committed to any one gentleman at the moment so it's fair game at this point. No excuses, just looking out for the guys!

      • @dvrcdntbrkn says:

        Point taken Lisa.
        I thought my perspective of it was odd coming from you. I have read a lot of your stuff and you have never come off as either having low self-esteem or being controlling. I think I get your piece a little better now.
        And if I may… Vaulty for Android. It's in the marketplace. Just sayin'

        • Glad the clarification helped. I don't want you thinking I am controlling or lacking self-esteem. Quite the opposite! Glad you are doing your homework on me, thanks for reading my stuff. And I know there are ways to help the shady be even shadier but I prefer to pretend that isn't necessary! Clean.It.Out!

    • Melissa says:


      I don't think anyone can ever really be trusted 100%. That makes the trustee very naive & easily manipulated. Men are sneaky selfish sob's. You said it, "Just because you can't find the sexy texts or naughty pics, doesn't mean they are not happening." and women NEED the PROOF before they can throw away their relationship. Since men LIE, and lie for each other, sneaking is the only way.

      Best of Luck

  4. Sausage Fingers says:

    Thanks for the info. When do we get to see the contents of said phone? I say you should blog it before you Clean It Out.
    Cheers, Sausage Fingers…

  5. No one special says:

    Another word to the wise, guys– if you have a sexy pic of your girl as, say, the background pic on your phone, for god's sake, change the picture before hanging out with your or her family.

  6. Tony Van Helsing says:

    Mobile phones, another leap forward in people cheating on each other.

  7. Brandi says:

    I make it a habit to clean out my phone as well as my inboxes and my facebook which are accessable through my phone…Stinking technology. I dont have any reason to (aka a official man), but I find its good practice.

    Always great and super informative!

  8. Caroline says:

    Can't say I'm proud of it, but now and then I just have to snoop around on his phone and computer. When I don't find anything, I feel guilty for not trusting him.
    And when I DO find something, I don't know what to do with it. If I confront him, he'll be bitching about why I looked in the first place and lose trust in me. So I keep the knowledge of my findings to myself, getting a wee bit more pissed every time I find something new.

    ..this will never end well.

    • I know, it is such a classic catch 22 situation. If you don't snoop you go crazy wondering if he is pulling shenanigans on you and you are an oblivious fool or if you do snoop and find nothing, than you feel like an ass for going through his stuff and not trusting him. Or you snoop and DO find stuff and then can't confront him without busting yourself out for snooping. Damned if you do, Damned if you don't!

  9. This is something we all think about in the back of our minds. I have some stuff on my phone the lady friend would not understand. Nothing I want to get into specifically here – lets just say it hasn't been cleaned in quite some time. And it even includes some pics from a previous phone that transferred over.

    Is there something shady about holding onto these? I rarely even see them… I guess I should do some cleaning.

    The Simple Dude

  10. George says:

    Just read this for the first time. I delete everything immediately after reading, unless there are instructions in it. Part of it is my semi-anal personality and the other part is not having to worry about someone seeing it that shouldn't. This means that I have to commit those pictures to memory sometimes.

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