The Dude Society

An Online Magazine for Guys.

Could You Be A Boy Toy?

For many guys, having a strictly sexual relationship with someone seems like an ideal situation… But, is being her boy toy a game you want to play?

It may sound too good to be true, but there are women out there who really are fine just having you around for sex. There are various motivations behind a woman choosing this route, as opposed to seeking out a traditional relationship.  Sometimes, it is a woman who is just coming out of a divorce or long term relationship, that is just looking for something uncomplicated yet satisfying. Sometimes you won’t even have enough conversation to find out what her motivation is. So, would be OK just being her “on-call” guy?

The boy toy is a variation on the usual No Strings Attached situation. The primary difference being there is no mistake that you are there on her terms and for her enjoyment, it’s not a two-way street.

The Pros & Cons

The upside of being a boy toy will most likely be little to no chance that she wants you for anything other than sex.  When a woman chooses her boy toy, she typically seeks out someone with whom she has very little in common, and would make no sense in a romantic relationship.  That is half the appeal of it.

The downside of playing the role of boy toy is you, at some point, will likely begin to feel that it is a little too one-sided. Granted, you will no-doubt be getting off in return when the two of you have your play dates. However, chances are she will only be available to you when it is convenient for her, not the other way around.  Texts will be ignored; phone calls will go to voicemail. This situation is very much on her terms and some guys just aren’t cut out to work on an on-call basis.

For some guys, the appeal of being the object of woman’s sexual desire with none of the trappings of a relationship is ideal. For others, they need a little more of a reciprocal understanding. Either way, knowing what you want out of a situation can help you decide if playing the role of boy toy could be something you want to get into, or if you are better off taking a pass on it and pursuing other options.

Tips for becoming a boy toy

  • Find the right audience. Not every woman is looking for boy toy, in fact, many are looking for their prince charming… So, to up your chances of becoming a boy toy, target the right ladies. Women who are overly focused, stressed, or preoccupied with other elements of their lives, such as career or children (think, hot single moms), typically are the most likely to want, easy, on-demand sex.
  • Just ask. A conversation that starts with “So what are you looking for?” can clear the situation up pretty quickly. If she starts rambling about her 5 year plan, not looking for a boy toy… If she says something like she is open to see what shakes out, just looking for someone that she can have fun with, or really not looking for anything specific (leaving it open ended) that would be a good indication that you could find yourself being her boy toy.

About the author

Lisa, aka Random Girl, is a mild-mannered professional by day, wickedly clever blogger/sex goddess/smartass by night. Lisa has very little internal filtering and is the voice behind Random Girl Blogs. She also makes fantastic chocolate chip cookies.

All articles by Lisa »

6 responses to “Could You Be A Boy Toy?”

  1. Brandon says:

    You mean, communication??? Arrrgh, it's a four-letter word to some guys!

    It's funny how 'just talking' can open up a lot of avenues. Learning the right questions to ask will often get you the answers you want!

    Great article as always.

  2. Jewels says:

    They are fun but I find very short lived. Part of the appeal is definitely that you already know you could NEVER date them or be in a relationship with them. You have the sexual chemistry but none of the other connections that would make for an actual out of bedroom relationship. Conversely I usually get annoyed with them quickly because they are just too different, or they try to be chatty, *gasp* want to do dinner and movies or cuddle. Nope…not what you are there for. Sorry.

    From my experiences find a "perfect" boy toy is harder than one would think. Then again…when you have one…mmm…fun!

  3. Yvonne says:

    I find the "boy toy" route is the way to go sometimes. In my opinion, you have to be in the right frame of mind to be in that type of "relationship." It becomese a problem when one or the oher starts seeing it as more than what it really is. I soooo need a "boy toy" now!

  4. Chuckie says:

    Being a Guy, I find this topic very interesting. In one end, being a "Boy Toy" is a dream come true for some guys. Having sex on the fly, not having any lovey dovey feelings, not even needing to tell your partner anything about you, is very "exciting". In the other end, some people just don't like the thought that they are just being used like any other furniture. You know, like a chair (sit on it) or like a pacifier (suck on it). Given, not many guys think about it before they jump in. The allure of free sex is just too much for a lot of people.

    • I think you are right on the two sides of this topic, one of NSA sex, the other of being compared to a piece of furniture, interesting analogy by the way. It's not for everyone that's for sure, and it seldom will stay as a boy toy situation for any duration, but if it works for a while and everyone is on the same page, it can be awesome on both sides of the equation.

  5. Steve says:

    Well me and my ex had a great friendship… but we drifted aprt and split up after 5 years.. one year later she and i have an agreement…. she gets to use me as her boy toy…. whenever she wants…. but i really have no say over it… lol it really does work that way… I cant call her and say im in the mood….. but im always game when she is…. we keep the emotion out of it… and when we find we are spending too much time together we slow it down and stay away… although are friendship is good.. we know we wouldnt make it as a couple again…. So we also decided if one of us gets serious with another then we cut ties…. its almost like a unwritten contract… but for a man u need at least two cuz one isnt enough… =)

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