The Dude Society

An Online Magazine for Guys.

Make Your Date Feel More Connected To You

Ask most guys where they normally go on a date… you’ll probably get answers like: for coffee, for a drink, out to dinner, to a movie, etc. These are all fine, however, they can get boring quickly. If you’re lucky they go well, but it’s often hard to form a solid connection with your date, even in the best circumstances.

Say you’ve just met someone online or briefly in some casual situation, and you’re at the point of actually meeting them one-on-one for the first or second date. You go from “Hi, I’m Jamie” when you meet up, to (internally), “Ok, we don’t know each other but we are going to sit here, potentially awkwardly, for two hours or more.”  You’re there together, but you still don’t really know each other. If you keep your eyes open, these we-just-met couples are pretty easy to spot at restaurants and other places.

No matter what your date location, you likely arrived there separately, and that separate feeling can actually stick around longer than you’d think… especially for women. You’re here, but you still just met, so it’s fun but a little weird. Everyone has probably been in this situation.

There is a really great solution to this problem: the multi-location date. You start out with a simple activity, like drinks, and move on, together, to another activity afterward.

Going somewhere together

The focus of this date tactic is less about where you go and more about going somewhere together. You have gotten over that awkward hump during the first part of the date, and now you’re headed somewhere as a pair. It’s like two dates in one. You can even make it three dates in one, if you have a little more time to kill.

This is simple, but will likely make your date feel more connected to you and comfortable around you.

A few great date ideas are meeting for drinks, having dessert somewhere (offerings to share a dessert if often a smooth move), going to a comedy show, finding some live music, a Broadway show (if you know they’re into that), or even a casual dinner if you both happen to be hungry. If you choose dinner, at least now you’ve met, you know each other better, and you’re consciously deciding to go to dinner together, rather than sitting there awkwardly after just meeting face-to-face.

What’s in it for you?

Does this sound like a lot of work? It kind of is. You need to come up with two or three date ideas instead of just one. However, if the date goes well your date will likely feel more connected to you and will have a better story to tell friends…

After all, you haven’t been on just one date — you’ve been on two or three mini-dates. You will have gotten to know each other much better throughout the date, and there could easily be strong physical contact by the end of the evening. It might even open the door for more intimacy… If you are at a juncture where sex is on the table, although I don’t advise rushing that, you should have a pretty good shot at this point.

About the author

Jamie is the Founder of The Dude Society and a New York City based web designer & developer. He really likes telling people how to think, act, and dress.

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2 responses to “Make Your Date Feel More Connected To You”

  1. John Smith says:


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