The Dude Society

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The Creepiest Way To Get Over Your Ex

Is she the one that got away?  True love or not, sometimes it can be really tough to let go of past relationships.

When faced with the memory of an ex-girlfriend, there are a few things you can do:

Stalk her on all available social media outlets

Technology has made hanging on to the memory of an ex easier than ever.  In the past, your options were to physically follow her around or continuously call her and hang up. Now, all you have to do is check her status update, read her latest tweet, or see where she checked in on Foursquare. She’s not going to fool you with the pictures she posts of her smiling in the arms of her new man. She’s miserable without you, even if you’re the only one who can see it.

Show up where you know she will be on a Friday night

Never underestimate the power of an uncomfortable run-in with your ex while she is out with her friends, or better yet, with her new dude. I’m sure she will be glad she ran into you and totally open to talking about the good old days with you instead of hanging out with her friends and/or current boyfriend.  It won’t make you seem creepy in the least.

Keep in touch with her friends

Just because the two of you broke up doesn’t mean that her friends don’t want to hear about how much you want her back.  Make sure you frequently text or Facebook message her friends and ask them how she is doing and if she is dating anyone.   Let them know you would really like to get back with her and ask them to pass along the message. I’m sure they would be happy to plead your case. Maybe even ask her hot friend to go out with you, that would for sure help her realize what she is missing out on.

Obsess over every picture, text, and memento (especially the dirty ones)

Nothing says “I’ll never get over you” like looking at every picture you have of her and re-reading every text message she ever sent you. She wouldn’t have let you take the dirty photos if she didn’t want you to keep looking at them, right?

Make sure you keep a box under your bed with any cards, gifts, or left-behind pieces of clothing. That way you can take them out and relive those moments at will.

Moral of the story…

If you are looking to prolong the pain of a breakup, make her really uncomfortable, and completely confirm to her that you are indeed a psycho that she totally needed to get rid of, feel free to do the above mentioned things.

If you prefer to maintain some dignity and let both of you move on to better relationships, avoid doing any of the above actions at all costs.

About the author

Lisa, aka Random Girl, is a mild-mannered professional by day, wickedly clever blogger/sex goddess/smartass by night. Lisa has very little internal filtering and is the voice behind Random Girl Blogs. She also makes fantastic chocolate chip cookies.

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5 responses to “The Creepiest Way To Get Over Your Ex”

  1. justmewith says:

    Ha! Good one. In the old days you did have to actually get in your car to stalk someone . . . ahh technology.

  2. Lance says:

    You know me and music. The song Someday by New Radicals went through my. "Driving past the place we met for the 97th time..tonight!"

    I swear on my children I haven't done any of those things….that much.

  3. jewelsturning30 says:

    Shit…,now I have to unfollow you. :(
    I will admit that I have things from old lovers…is that odd? I just found an old lover's tie in my closet the other day and sighed and just couldn't throw it away. I guess I'm strange. It's not like I'm calling him or obsessing. I didn't even want to text him when I found it…I just smiled and put it away again. Oh god…I'm creepy aren't I? Shit.

  4. George says:

    Oh, I thought that I was doing it the right way. Note to self – stalking her is bad. That ruins my plans for tonight.

  5. Ellyn says:

    ROFLMAO! Thanks for the grin.

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